I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
