I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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