what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
