Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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