I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
