We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
bring money and cleavage
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
