I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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