the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
