yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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