Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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