Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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