Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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