shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
another moral hangover. fuck.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
