My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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