just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
