I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
