Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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