Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
false alarm, still single
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
