I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
