I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
