I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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