i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
