He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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