WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
