So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
