Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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