is your mom at the bar?
thus making me awesome and them whores
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
