Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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