it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
