Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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