well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
