what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
