The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
