He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
