booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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