Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
