No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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