Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
worst night to have a conscience
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
