i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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