I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
