I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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