Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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