I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
