worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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