the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
