we have pet lesbian snakes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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