I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
