Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
