yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
