we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
